I finally entered material about myself under the tab Contact/Consultations and the tab About Me. Those will be my “blogs” for today.

At the same time, I am pondering this past week in our country and will write some thoughts this coming week. Because of the complexity of writing thoughtful posts, I am learning that my Blog Blitz is slowing down to five blogs a week at most.

As I wrote in my last blog: Deep breathe, reduce stress, expectations and responsibilities.

A few years ago, once a week I began saying, “I am taking today off.” This means today I will have no agenda, no assigned tasks. In the words of the New Zealand Prayer Book: “What is done, is done. What is not done, is not done. Let it be.” It is a discipline with amazing outcomes; I commend it to you. By taking yesterday “off,” I found that my head cleared and I could see my way forward more intentionally. And I let it be.

Reduce stress

Reduce Expectations

Reduce Responsibilities

Breathe: 7-4-8. In for count of 7; hold 4; out SLOWLY 8. Four times morning and night.

Missed yesterday’s blog. Have to write on Sunday again this week. Visitors and hubbub and fun.

Then to Grandmother Ocean at high tide. I stood in the water, which felt amazingly warm on this cool and cloudy day, and acknowledged the earth, air, fire, water and began to silence my inner voices. This is never easy. In yoga we are told: Your thoughts will carry you away 100 times; just keep coming back to the breath 100 times. Once I accepted this discipline, the above words came to me. What follows is the back story.

My two diagnoses and treatment plan from an Integrative Medicine Doctor in April resolved my extreme fatigue and starting me on the path to healing. For 1 ½ years after sharing intense care-taking for my older brother who was dying of pancreatic cancer, my chronic GI issues revved up. Meeting consecutively with two GI doctors, both of whom checked out all the observable physical possibilities, including studies to rule out pancreatic cancer and common GI diagnoses, each suspected Small Intestine Bacteria Overgrowth (SIBO) and put me on a small intestine specific antibiotic protocol for two weeks which gave short term relief. After some relief, I continued to suffer the same GI symptoms.

However, these caring and concerned doctors offered me no diet information. Then I heard about an Integrative Medicine Doctor and made an appointment recently affiliated with the same high profile, cutting edge teaching hospital system. At the end of the first appointment during which she listened attentively for an hour, I said I was amazed that she could give me so much time. She said, “The system wanted an integrative doctor; we’ll see how long they will let me practice this way.” She also gave me three home test kits and extensive blood tests. My GI doctor supported the blood tests and added a couple of her own.

First I was called about the blood tests: no significant disease issues; however, low vitamin D, K-2, B-12, Magnesium and other stress related deficiencies. Then the breath test for SIBO came back positive, followed by the Cortisol saliva test indicating adrenal fatigue. Within two weeks of starting the SIBO diet (siboinfo.org), my bloated stomach flattened and I lost four pounds. Before the test, I had said to my husband after my evening meal, “I could be three months pregnant.” With this plus a marked decrease in my intestinal distress, I knew the SIBO diagnosis was accurate.

Then I began the Adrenal Fatigue protocol, which included the four recommendations above. My energy began to come back. I had all but accepted my lack of energy and focus was my new normal. Then my mood lightened and my outlook on life became hopeful. I now feel energized in ways I have not felt since my late husband died 14 years ago when I first developed chronic GI symptoms.

This explains why I could not writing blogs regularly and why I now have renewed desire to begin again. I also went into some detail so that others who might have similar symptoms can consider the possibility of SIBO and/or Adrenal Fatigue. No new medications, only familiar targeted supplements and SIBO specific diet awareness.

Last week I received a letter from my integrative Doctor. She is leaving the institutional medical system and returning to private practice. I will follow her there.

During the summer we practice yoga with Rebecca who was originally trained at Kripalu in Western Massachusetts. Twenty years into her practice, she is particularly informed by incorporation of the discipline of non-violent communication which teaches intentional listening and responding., she invites us to listen to and share the specific needs of our physical bodies body-mind-spirit delight. Her classes meet in a 15′ x 20′, freestanding studio with windows flanking three sides, on a hill above Casco Bay on the Portland facing side of the island. Even on hot, hot days a breeze of some sort finds its way into the space. My husband and I leave our home with some ambivalence–do we really want to do this?– and arrive already “in our bodies,” having ridden our bikes a mile along the Back Shore. the ocean side of the island, and then up a steep hill.

Rebecca asks about our “individual beings” at this moment. Our answers can become expansive when there are only the two of us, an opportunity to not only listen to each other but also to listen to our personal mind-body-spirit condition and needs. Although Rebecca often begins with a reading, quiet meditation concludes the session. In her own calming way, she weaves her wisdom and a story here and there throughout the lesson, gradually taking us into the interior of our beings as she attunes herself to our rhythm until her compassion, her helping us care more fully for ourselves, becomes a healing presence.

Another kind of listening, centering us to do the work we have been given to do in the world with more intention, attention and compassion.

Yoga: yoking. Because I have not studied or read up on yoga, I speak from my experience. For me, the yoking is of mind-body-spirit. Interesting that Jesus is remembered as saying, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” This captures my experience of yoga. Yoga eases the often heavy yoke I carry across my shoulders (my shoulders are often tight), lightening my burden. The yoke and burden remain; however, I am eased and lightened by the end of a yoga practice.

I began weekly yoga class 15 years ago the September after my late husband died. For several years a friend had encouraged me to try Ramesh’s class. Now I found solace in the quiet and rhythmic sessions. Early on, during the meditations tears came unbidden. The stretches and postures led me into a physical release as re-memberings of my late husband arose. Space for silent tears and healing breaths. Lightening my burden as I grieved while being held by the practice within the class.

Since that first class, unless I am out of town or indisposed in some way, I have been present. Since I married again twelve years ago, my husband has joined me. The healing energy of yoga has become almost as important as the air I breathe.

Ramesh, who was taught by a master yogi from India, has been an “initiated” yogi for over 40 years. His classes are part of his practice; the classes’ financial contributions cover the rental cost of the space. With an American name, he is a college professor in his day job . His Pranayama, the breath of life energy, practice includes beginning  with stretching followed by silent meditation. The stretches and postures are done in relation to “breath in and breathe out”, always through the nostrils. Near the end of the class during the second meditation, Ramesh offers his wisdom as we lie in corpse position, releasing ourselves “into the floor”. Body still; mind quiet; spirit listening. Yoga.

I am drawn to Grandmother Ocean, to the immediacy of connection at high tide, called by the energies she wants to share with me. To teach me of her unfathomable depths, her diurnal rhythms, her shifting moods, her playful exuberance. Ten minutes before high tide, I walk down the slight hill from our home onto the dirt road which turns east past at the corner. I look up and am once again stunned by the first view. The Ocean’s beauty surprises me even after these five years. Framed by wild rose bushes, the Ocean rises up beyond the opening. (See photograph on website opening page.)

The immediacy of high tide each day as the water is pushed higher, then drawn further out thrilling by the power. I feel joyous as my heart swells in awe. No two days are alike. Each day the tide is higher up the rocks than the day before or lower. Gradually, I begin to understand the internal rhythms of the ocean. I announce myself: “Great Spirits, It is I, Joy Anna Marie; I am here.” I acknowledge earth, Earth Mother; air, Sky Father; Fire, Grandfather Fire; and water, Grandmother Ocean.

As I go down over the rocks, I choose my sitting rock here on the Maine coast according to Grandmother Ocean’s tidal heights, a rock with enough flat surface for me to sit on so that my feet are submerged in the playfulness of the water rising and retreating. The cold splashes of a larger incoming wave become a foot washing as I ease my feet onto the smaller rocks and stand in the clear water. I am cleansed of other thoughts; the chill rids me of preoccupations. The unexpected in rushing of the tide often shocks me and I laugh aloud as I rejoice with the exuberant wavelets. Today the waves are small, lapping gently yet forcefully, breaking rhythmically as the water surrounding my feet then recedes.

Each time I come to the Ocean, I come to listen. Grandmother teaches me over and over to breathe deeply and be still, be present, to listen. A meditation emerges as I know that I am held by earth, air fire and water. We each are held, all the time, every day. The Creation longs to teach us that we are one with Her. She longs to heal us so that we are strengthened to go out into the world and share that healing in whatever way we are called to. SHE WAITS UPON AND COUNTS ON EACH ONE OF US WILLING TO SAY, “YES, I WILL BE STILL AND LISTEN.” SO BE IT, SO IT IS.

Dreams:a way to listen to God, the title of a small book by Morton Kelsey, a late 20th century Christian mystic. He brought spirituality alive again, particularly as a priest in the Episcopal Church beginning in the 1970’s. I cherish this book title because it captures the potential power and impact of listening to your dreams.The stories of the world’s major religions encompass dreams and visions–the world beyond the five senses. In the first two chapters of the Christian Gospel of Matthew five dreams are recorded.

No faith expression holds the patent on understandings of “God”. However, listening to this energy which comes both from within and from beyond us has the power to enhance and enliven us. “God”: an intelligent, loving energy that wants to help us live more fully, love more wastefully, become more of whom we are meant to become? (to paraphrase Bernie Siegel and Jack Spong). We can recognize this energy when we respond to an experience with mystery, awe and wonder.

The key is in the responding, particularly when you want to begin remembering your dreams. I liken this to any relationship. If a friend’s name appears on your caller ID and you do not answer, you are not developing the relationship. On the other hand, if you answer and make a connection, the relationship may flourish. This happens with dreams. If you begin simply by remembering how you feel when you wake, you have started to develop your relationship with your dreams. The next step is to write down whatever comes to you when you wake. It may be a feeling or a single image–or a full blown dream. I promise you that if you write these down, you will soon remember your dreams more fully because you have chosen to develop the relationship with your unconscious.(more about the unconscious in a future blog).

Yes, dreams can be more elusive than we would like them to be, and interpretations more challenging than we might want them to be. That is when sharing dreams with a trusted person can be helpful. I work with a Jungian analyst to listen more deeply to my dreams. He is not only steeped in dream interpretation (as Jungians usually are), he also has a more objective perspective than I can possibly have. He constantly reminds me that figures and images and actions in dreams represent aspects of my own unconscious. They are trying to tell me about myself by using images and people. Again this mystery of understanding a dream is about a relationship that is not superficial. Dreams do not comment on the weather or gossip about other people. They are directed to us personally as a way for us to move more intentionally through our lives so that the meaning of our lives is continually revealed and enhanced.

Listening to dreams: a way to lead a more intentional and meaningful life.

More easily written than achieved. However, there are many ways we can expand our listening to ourselves. If we practice listening to ourselves, we may find it easier to listen to others respectfully.  When you have a dynamic relationship with your own thoughts, beliefs, desires, opinions, you are more apt to listen to others’. I have learned to listen to myself primarily through writing, through working with my dreams, through meditation, and through yoga.

When I write, I move thoughts out of the gerbil wheel of my perseverating mind. I bring them to fuller consciousness as I form them into phrases or sentences; I come to new understandings about my way of being in the world as I become interested in exploring past experiences and relationships. I see the thoughts on the page and can more easily develop those thoughts and/or question whether what I have written makes sense.

This commitment to developing my own thinking and exploring the meaning of my life experiences is part of my decision to write this blog. As I write about one experience or idea, I clear my mind and leave open space for more creative thinking. I can save what I have written and return to it another time to develop the thought or story.

I often tell people if you are not falling asleep easily at night, before you get in bed (preferably not in your bedroom) write in a notebook all the things that come to mind after a busy day. When you are finished, close the notebook firmly and say, “I have written down what is concerning me. I will return to these thoughts in the morning. Now I am going to go to sleep.” You are telling your unconscious that you do not have to be awakened  or stay awake worrying over something. You have made your thoughts and experiences conscious and you have promised to deal with it in the future. A caveat: you must actually keep your promise to write more the next day or the deal is off. The unconscious knows when we cheat ourselves.

So that your writing has a chance to become a discipline, I recommend a commitment to using one of Julie Cameron’s books which involves writing three pages daily. I discovered that you cannot write about the same thing over and over for three pages without becoming frustrated and bored with yourself. Three pages forces you through your own impasse into new thinking, insights and ideas. In conjunction with psychotherapy, you can break through all sorts of barriers to living your life more fully with more energy and integrity.

Beginning a blog, as I have, is another way of keeping track of your own listening skills. As I have said, I know I have many ideas and experiences that have taught me an immense amount about myself and pushed me “to know what I know” at a more life giving level. For instance, I was sure today’s blog would be about my meditative practice of sitting through high tide with Grandmother Ocean. That piece simply would not write. I felt stymied and disappointed in myself–why couldn’t I make it work when this discipline is so essential to me? Then I mentioned my impasse to my husband, who said, “Why don’t you write about the dream you worked on yesterday and shared with me this morning?” I responded, “All right, why not? I’ll try that. I’m not getting anywhere with this topic.”

And here I am. I have set forward four topics I want to blog about. Tomorrow I will write about that dream. I also suspect I will be writing more about writing in future blogs–and even explain more about the other tabs on my website: Imagining the Sacred, DARING Faith and Living (Well) into Our Dying.

Listening to one another deeply may be an essential pathway to becoming more fully human. If I do not hear the cries of the disenfranchised, people desperate for a change in our economy, in our capacity for compassion, am I one of the hard-hearted? If I do not listen to the very, very rich who have closed their hearts to the needs of others, can I learn to respond–rather than react– to their beliefs in a creative, rather than negative, way?

Yesterday’s post summed up what is at stake in the USA as well as throughout the world during this crisis which is pulling us apart from one another. Perhaps our very survival; certainly our humanity is at stake. The websites of the three sponsors who have invited you to listen in this divisive political year provide guidelines. Click or copy the link beside each name to learn more. Kay Lindahl is a good friend whose book The Sacred Art of Listening with its brief chapters could be used as a daily reading. The practice of this sacred–sacred because it opens the possibility of meaningful human connection and of shifts in stuck relationships–art will develop as you choose to focus on it intentionally.

This discipline may not be easy for many of us. We must “Practice, practice, practice.” Practice is about trying something new, then stepping back and saying to yourself, “What did I say or do that was satisfying? What would I change next time?” It is rarely about negative criticism. Although criticism can point to places where change is needed, it usually does not lead to change because we may shut down in the face of the pain generated by criticism. However, when others, especially teens, are critical, if we listen beneath their outer words, we may hear what they are trying to show us more clearly. We can say, “Tell me more.” Become interested. Become curious.

Then there is also listening to the still small voice within ourselves. Using Carl Jung’s term,  I call this voice the deepest Self. From the Self arises the voice that wants us to be more fully alive. For instance, as you read one of Kay’s chapters, underline and write notes in the margin–or keep a notebook handy when you read and track the insights that might pop up simply because you are listening for them. Writing insights down brings them further to consciousness, making them more available to us

Many faith traditions, spiritual practices, poets and dreamers believe that one person’s intentions lived out in the world has the power to change the world–because it joins with all the others who believe in humanity’s desire for compassion as well as humanity’s will to work toward the well being of others.

               THE LISTENING PROJECT           THE LISTENING CENTER

URBAN CONFESSIONAL

BE A LISTENING PRESENCE AT THE REPUBLICAN AND/OR DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION

Are you listening? Is anybody listening? From the tone of discourse in America today it seems like there’s a lot of talking and no listening. We are here to do something about it and we invite you to join with us.

Listen First Project, Urban Confessional: A Free Listening Project, and The Listening Center are combining forces to promote listening around the Republican and Democratic national conventions. Our civil activism on the streets outside the convention walls will be a breath of fresh air, a compelling statement standing in stark contrast to the tenor of the national political debate.

We’re seeking volunteers to join us in Cleveland (July 18-21) or Philadelphia ( July 25-28) to encourage greater understanding, respect and cooperation through listening. To stand ready to model listening on the spot as we hold signs saying “Free Listening” or “Listen First, Vote Second.”

The rancorous polarization gripping American culture in this election year seems to have made listening an endangered practice. Yet listening is the only thing that can bridge our divides and draw us back into civil dialogue with one another.

We can move beyond the slander and seek common ground, with new respect and appreciation for contrasting ideas. We can listen to and consider another person’s perspective before sharing our own. We can stand ready to listen without expecting anything in return, simply because people need to be seen, heard and understood. We can learn and grow by engaging in dynamic conversations with strangers on the street. We can model the way forward for a culture that’s forgotten how to listen.

Many people across the country are deeply troubled by the spectacle of demagoguery – even violence – that has come to define our national discourse. According to CNN, 78% of voters say that America is more deeply divided on major issues facing the country than it has been in the past. A Listen First Project poll found that 57 percent of voters believe that if people with different viewpoints listened to and considered the other side first it would make a major or even huge impact on our politics and society. Failure to listen is harming our relationships and productivity at every level, from park benches to presidential elections. If we hope for a healthy, prosperous nation, we cannot continue to demagogue our neighbors because they see the world differently.

Help us demonstrate civility where it seems hardest to find. Help us recover the lost art of listening.

Please join us at the presidential conventions this summer! Sign up now at ListenFirst2016.com!

Sincerely,

Pearce Godwin, Listen First Project, Pearce@ListenFirstProject.org

Kay Lindahl, The Listening Center, TheListeningCenter@yahoo.com

Benjamin Mathes, Urban Confessional, Benjamin@UrbanConfessional.org

How you can help
• Be the boots on the ground at the conventions
• Be a local leader (manage logistics, training, recruitment, permits)
• Volunteer from wherever you are to help spread the message
• Identify our Listening Headquarters in Cleveland and Philadelphia (a physical location where volunteers can meet, train, get materials, and debrief)
• Donate towards materials, promotion, snacks for volunteers

This is it. Write or my blog dies of inactivity.

I just sent out the last post of an online 20 minutes a day for 30 days challenge course with Story Circle Network: Women Telling Their Stories. The eight of us wrote 6 days a week for 4 weeks with comments by one other writer and the facilitator each day. This discipline restarted my commitment to do what I love: write.

My website tab titles reflect my expansive foci in my blogs. Given time, I will develop blog files for each topic: Imagining the Sacred, DARING Faith and Living into Our Dying.

Only a few of you even know that I am writing a blog and that I then went into hibernation for three months in order to deal with a bizarre combination of chronic health issues. After seeing an incredibly insightful doctor who prescribed just the right supplements, my energy has returned and my focus has sharpened. This has led to a commitment to a BLOG BLITZ patterned on the course I just finished: 20 minutes a day (plus revision time) for 30 days with Sundays off. Part of this commitment is to invite people on my email lists and people who have expressed interest in my website/blog, as well as a slew of email addresses I have collected at various conferences and from other encounters. YOU are one of these people!

My dream is to have a dialogical blog website so that we actually engage in give and take conversations. After reading any post(s) please comment with your own insights, questions (more important than answers!), relevant information resources, your own or others’ blog posts, your own concerns. Let’s see what happens! Joy